'Enter the Ninja' (1981)

When I was a kid I used to love these types of movies. Movies like 'Revenge of the Ninja,' 'Pray for Death,' and this one were all regular staples of my weekend viewing. I had ninja toys, ninja outfits, and daydreamed about ninjas at school. If it had Sho Kosugi or Jackie Chan, I was watching it. 'Enter the Ninja' is largely regarded as one of the films that started the ninja craze in the 80s (and spawned several indirect sequels). It is directed by Menahem Golan, who, along with his cousin, formed the nucleus of the great exploitation studio Cannon films, which gave us a decades worth of awesome fare involving ninjas, Chuck Norris, and Michael Dudikoff.

Franco Nero stars as the ex-Army guy turned ninja Cole, who travels to the Philippines to help his buddy out, who is having trouble with some local unscrupulous businessmen who want him to sell his land. Along the way, Cole saves the day and manages to show himself an honorable ninja by banging his friend's so very hot wife, Mary Ann (Susan George)- to be honest, his friend was practically begging him to, since he "couldn't get it up" for her, due to his recent binge drinking and all. The interplay between Cole (who sports a sweet 'stach) and Mary Ann is hilarious: in one scene, Mary Ann is stroking a big shotgun while staring him down, and asking him if he wants to "come" into town with her in another. Not to be outdone, our hero asks, while being frisked, if she found "anything interesting" down there.

Sho Kosugi co-stars in this; he plays a baddie who isn't really a baddie, just jealous of Cole and overzealous for honor. He's duped by the baddies into thinking he's doing the right thing but he realizes his mistake at the end. Kosugi also choreographed everything- and for an early 80s film, it's typical action, probably on par with Gymkata or the latest Chuck Norris.

The bad guy, played by Christopher George, is very funny in this, and is constantly overacting, raising his voice, and berating his assistant Mr Parker that he "wants his ninja too!" like a 4 year old.

I'd say that this is one of the beginnings of the Cannon formula, one that would propel Golan-Globus to incredible heights into the 80s. If you had a Ninja fest of some kind, this would definitely be included, along with 'American Ninja' and 'Pray for Death.'

'Pray For Death' (1985)

This was one of my favorite films when I was a kid; I hadn't seen this in, like, forever, but fortunately, it's on a lot of websites like IMDB for free, so I decided to revisit an old classic. Wow. I used to think this was one of the darkest, most gloriously violent movies ever, but watching it recently I realized this is all kinds of silly. Definitely an 80s action film, but in a good way that makes you yearn for the good ol' days of steroids, big guns, and throwing stars before guys like Matt Damon and Keanu Reeves could be action stars.

Despite its cheesiness, 'Pray for Death' is still incredibly tight, and I always enjoy watching Sho Kosugi do what he does best... Ninjitsu style. In this one he plays a dude named Akira, who's some kind of Japanese businessman but also- you guessed it- a closet ninja, Anyway, Sho's wife thinks it's a good idea to move the family to America. And they do, only they move to a really ratty part of town and get mixed up in some trouble involving crooked cops, organized crime, and a necklace. James Booth, who you boys and girls will remember from Michael Dudikoff's 'Avenging Force' (anyone? Anyone?), places the main baddie, Limehouse Willie. Incurring Willie's wrath is hard on Sho, as his wife gets killed and son run down by a car. This gets Kosugi a hundred kinds of pissed off, and he sets about making the baddies "pray for death." And do they ever.

Like I said, this was so silly at times. I think the filmmakers were trying to see what would happen if they put the ninja figure into a straightforward Charles Bronson/Death Wish forumula; the results are entertaining, if a little mixed.I learned two things: (1) Sho Kosugi can jump over speeding cars a la Dolph in Showdown in Little Tokyo, as well as effortlessly slaughter dozens of mob henchmen at a time, and yet (2) James Booth is tough enough to be the only guy to be in prolonged fights with a ninja who kills most opponents in one sword stroke and jumps over speeding vehicles. I gotta admit that kinda bothered me; here is 60+ year old James Booth handing a ninja his ass on a plate, and they dragged the fight on for 15 minutes! Sho's son Kane (from Japanese Power Rangers fame) gets in some good shots too. The old FBI agent guy from Bloodsport is here as well, as a police chief who does a pretty shitty job of protecting Kosugi's family, considering they get slaughtered on his watch,

Who doesn't love Sho Kosugi? Back before Dudikoff made it cool for us gaijin to dream of being ninjas, Kosugi was it; and he doesn't disappoint here. He's doing it all: jumping over speeding cars, doing ninja magic, and sporting a tight haircut. I think it's about time for a Kosugi marathon around here.

In summary, if you yearn for the good old days of 80s action, mixed in with a million kinds of ninja silliness, watch 'Pray for Death.' The only downside I can think of is the 80s synthesizer power ballad that serves as the theme song, kind of inappropriate for something that needed more of the Stan Bush tough guy belting out songs about never surrendering and killing people if they blink. I'm not sure if this is still on Hulu, but I've also seen it on the inDemand action channels if you have cable/satellite. Enjoy.

'Blind Fury' (1989)

'Blind Fury' is a fun little yarn starring Rutger Hauer as Nick Parker, a Vietnam vet turned American Zatoichi/blind swordsman. After promising his old Nam buds' ex that he would take her kid to Nevada to see the dad, Parker sets off, and we're all good to go for nonstop action and laughs. This movie is typical fill-in-the-blanks late 80s popcorn action movie fun.

You got many B list actors in this: the so very hot Meg Foster (They Live, Future Kick, Master of the Universe) is in the first five minutes (I'll let you take a wild guess why she's not in the other hour and ten). The guy that girl told to "eat shit you fucking Redneck" redneck from 'The Last Boy Scout" is here too, and it was a kick to see him say "designer drugs, boy! Wave of the future!" just like he did in Last Boyscout. Terry O'Quinn does a good job as Hauer's 'Nam buddy, who he must save from the evil redneck who is creating a designer drug, that is apparently the wave of the future. Even mr. Ninja guy himself, Sho Kosugi shows up to fight Hauer @ the end. The bad guy redneck apparently "paid a lot of money to see this, boy!" and in struts Kosugi, chompin' on an apple. Hauer has an impressive fight with Sho, but the ninja gets knocked out by our blind boy, swimming into a vat of electrified acid. There was also an annoying kid who acted like a little shit the whole time to Hauer that gave this movie an 'Over the Top'-esque feel. Overall, he didn't stop this from being hella cheesy fun.

Hauer is on the list of B and C grade leading men along with Christopher Lambert and Jeff Speakman. This was made when he was still a bonafide 80s action hero. The guy who directed this supposedly went on to direct 'the Saint' and Patriot Games'- this is easily way better and more entertaining that either of those.

There was a lot to like in this: the training sequences @ the beginning, where Hauer is learning how to use the sword and all the Cambodian villagers are laughing at him; Hauer chopping a bee in half with his sword; these moments made up for a very pedestrian plot. I liked the quotes in this; the one that stands out in my mind (and that I look forward to using in everyday conversation @ inappropriate times) is the one where the baddies are shootin' somethin' up real good, and one quips: "Damn - that thing has more holes than my daddy's rubber." Priceless shit.

Overall, if you wanna have some cheesy, mindless late 80s action fun on a weekday while winding down from work, you couldn't do much better than this- except maybe Showdown in Little Tokyo or 'Bloodsport.' I mean, I liked it- but then again, I like Brian Bosworth movies.